For families with children it poses a whole other set of problems.


When Dad got laid off, between saving, Mom’s salary and credit cards they might cover the mortgage payments and living expenses for a few months. The second car is now no longer considered a necessity and it will have to go for now, but Dad will get another job soon and everything will get back to normal. After 6 or 8 month Dad still does not have a job and the outlook is bleak. Mom is worn out from juggling the household and bills, the mortgage is behind and the one and only car is now a major burden, with license plates and insurance coming due and not enough money to go around. The kids are unhappy; there is no longer any money for the activities their friends are involved in, and all they want to know is when Dad is going back to work so they can have their live back. A year or so later the house is in foreclosure, everything that can possible be sold was sold and Mom and Dad and the kids are in the street, still desperately holding on to the car. The credit cards are maxed; they have exhausted all their friends and relatives and finally end up at the homeless shelter. Now is when the problems really begin, parents are still taking the kids to school in the old neighborhood at least to finish the school year (didn’t they move there because of the good schools to begin with?). The kids are told not to tell anyone they live in a shelter, it’s too embarrassing……..Mom and Dad don’t want the old neighbors to know….. It’s only till the end of the school year, we’ll figure something out over the summer…………… Now the children have to deal with their friends asking what happened to their house and where did they move too and can they have sleepovers at their new place………..! Kids are caught in the middle, suddenly they its O.K. to hide the truth from their friends and lie to their teacher and other adults. Sending these mixed messages confuses even the most well adjusted child and rarely has positive results. If the child finally breaks down and confides in his friends, the both parents will more than likely find out and the kid is in trouble for telling and will more than likely be ostracized by his friends. Living in a shelter still has a huge stigma attached and, unless the parents move to a new area, will haunt the children all through school. It is a no win situation and the children are always the victims. Sadly I have seen the results of both scenarios and the children are traumatized either way, which usually results in serious psychological and behavioral issues. Luckily homeless families with children do have options and there programs in place to get them relocated and situated in reasonable short order. They can apply for housing vouchers; get food stamps and aid for the children. The shelter will give them furniture and household supplies, depending on availability and there are many organizations and churches that will supply food baskets and clothing.While I am not minimizing the plight of homeless families, I really want to a shed light on the dire situations that face mature women without resources or employment.

After five long weeks of sleeping on camp cots in the cafeteria, while the administration along with the exterminators dealt with yet another bed bug epidemic, we are finally back in the dorm again. Everybody expected things to be back to normal, or at least as normal as it gets with 40 women in one room, but no such luck. Someone in their infinite wisdom decided to re-arrange the dormitory to where there are 3 inches between beds in the front half and a huge open space the size of a dance floor on the backside. When one of the ladies did not have enough room to even get to her bunk instead of going back to the old arrangement that worked for everyone, she was moved to a bunk in the back that afforded her more space. She was lucky because the shelter is not full right now, but what about the next person?

I wonder what the fire code says about the proximity of bunk beds in a dormitory environment and the width of passage ways. Have to research that……I know that it has to be more than 3 inches.

The powers to be have also decided to put a washer and dryer in the locker room. Operative word being A as in ONE, for 40 women, yeahh right. I can see that working out. Right now everyone has an assigned laundry day, they can bag and tag their clothing, it gets taking to the laundry room with commercial washers and dryers, it is washed and dried by assigned trained volunteers and is returned the same day.

However I really do not think there is much to worry about since the washer or dryer will get broken during the first couple of weeks and knowing how things work (or rather don’t work) around here it will become a doorstop and just take up space.

Introduction to Shelter Living

First off I would like to dispel a myth that all people in a homeless shelter are lazy and don’t want to work and live in a shelter by choice. While I am not disputing that for some it is a lifestyle and they travel from shelter to shelter, with various shelters buying bus tickets just to get them to move on, these people are in the minority. Most women, especially mature women, end up in a shelter because of a traumatic life changing event and are in the precarious position of having no resources left and no other place to go. It is usually a long term illness and subsequent death of a partner, parent or spouse, an ugly divorce after 20+years of marriage or the last straw in an ongoing abusive relationship. Sometimes just being laid off from work and not able to get other employment soon enough can cause one’s life to collapse. Whatever the case may be a homeless shelter is never a choice only a last resort. The agonizing decision to actually go to a homeless shelter only comes after all options, including suicide have been ruled out (at least for the moment) and it is never ever an easy one.Living in a shelter is not only depressing and demoralizing but it emphasizes the hopelessness of a desperate situation. It will crush your spirit and drag you down faster than anything else. Mature single women in a shelter are being warehoused..........stored, no one really knows what to do with them, there is no where for them to go, there is no support program in place, no one to talk to and no one to help figure out what to do with the rest of your life. Let’s face it in this economy college graduates with PhDs cannot find jobs and for women over the age of 55 it is impossible to get a job that pays a living wage, especially since many have been out of the workforce for several years. Too old to get a job, not old enough for social security (if even eligible), what can one do…….Shelters are designed as transitional housing, for a few days or weeks until other options are made available. For most mature women these options might not become available for months, possibly years. Currently their needs are not addressed by any program or organization. As Babyboomers reach that age group this social crisis will become more apparent than ever before.