And just when I thought I actually had a chance.........another bucket of ice water right on my head. After 3 long years in a homeless shelter I actually thought there was a chance at having a life again. I am now getting a monthly social security check, it's not a whole lot but then I have learned to make due with a lot less in the past few years and was ecstatic at the possibility being re-united with my pets in my own place. My wonderful friend has cared for them the past years with very little financial support from me. I was finally able to return to Oregon and with the full intention of getting my life back on track I started looking for a place to live. I figured if my SS check covers my rent and utilities I am able to generate enough income on my own to pay for pet and personal expenses. Made sense to me, I might be in my sixties but I am still capable of finding part time work (even in this economy) and generating income with my internet business. I network where ever I go, yoga classes or yard sales, it does not matter. Back to house hunting..........while finding an affordable place that allows pets is a challenge in itself, it is not the biggest obstacle. The main problem is finding someone that will rent to me with with little credit and rental history. My recent credit history is marginal at best, I have some medical expenses (emergency room and ambulance) when I was injured while at the shelter that went to collection and homeless shelters don't give rental references. Back to being between a rock and a hard spot.

What does not kill us........

I finally managed to get myself out of the shelter and thanks to a HUD sponsored program was able to move into a residential hotel for women. Having my own room that I could lock and a safe place to sleep (I never felt safe sleeping in a dorm with 40 women)was such a relief. I will be forever grateful to a wonderful lady named Bertha for accepting me into the program, literally giving me a safe haven and thereby enabling me to move forward. It is very difficult to see the big picture ahead when you have to watch your back constantly. My next step is to move back to Oregon and re-claim my beloved pets. I still have my kitties, sadly my dog died while in friend's care and we are both heartbroken about it. But he was 16 years old, was much loved and had a good life.

It's been a while......

It has been a while since I blogged, too many ups and downs and complications to be able to get on line regularly. In re-reading some of my earlier blogs I am still surprised at my naïveté when I first arrived at the shelter. I had done various volunteer work in the past, mostly animal related causes. I have cleaned cages at the humane society and had fundraisers for spay and neuter clinics in my home. When I lived in Oregon, many years ago I used to go around to the downtown bridges on Sunday mornings with hot coffee and cacao and sweet rolls. At that time the mission or other places did not open till noon on Sunday, there was no place to go for the people living under the bridges to get warm. The men and women were always grateful for hot coffee and something to eat first thing in the morning. Seemed like no matter how much I brought it was never enough. I always felt bad when I ran out of food but everyone took it in stride. I was usually by myself but never felt uncomfortable or threatened.
So when I first arrived at the shelter I took everyone at face value and believed the stories. I tried to help when I could and shared what little I had. My attitude was we are all in this together, so we stick together and help each other out. I learned the hard way! Kindness was considered weakness and I had to fight hard to stand my ground and not become a victim of other residents in the shelter. I had never been exposed to that many unscrupulous people....... homeless people ripping each other off...... It does not get much lower than that.
My first winter there my coat was stolen off my bedpost while I was sleeping, never to be seen again. The shelter suggested I keep better track of my stuff since I had not been there long enough to have earned the privilege of a locker.
I had become acquainted with most of the bus drivers that went by the shelter and one of asked me were my coat was when I only had a sweatshirt on a very cold day. When I told her what happened she brought one of her daughter's jackets to work with her the next day and actually took the time to look for me when she went by the shelter to give it to me. It's gestures like this that restored my faith and kept me going.