This place is a family shelter, so they house men as well in order not to split up the family unit. That opens up a whole other can of worms. Most of these men are dogs (no nicer way to put it) and will mess around even in the shelter. Some of the women here are not much better by going for it. That of course creates lots of jealousies and arguments in families and the children as usual take the brunt of it. Mom and Dad are fighting, consequently distracted from supervising their children and the situation turns into chaos. As I said before, it is a warehouse for people and when people are left to their own devices in this type of situation, it brings out their worst qualities.
I especially feel sorry for women trying to escape domestic violence, the last thing they need, is to be subjected to a bunch of overbearing arrogant men, that have nothing to be arrogant about. They are not willing to care for the family they have but that does not stop them from starting another one with someone they just met..... in the shelter. I have seen that happen more than once since I have been here and the men are never held accountable.
It is all very sad and discouraging and mature women are especially vulnerable to bouts of depression.
If I ever questioned (and trust me I did...... many times) why I ended up in a shelter, I have come to realize that there is a purpose for me. There have to be changes implemented in how society views women below the poverty line. This is America in the 21st century and this is a serious issue and we have get serious about resolving it. It's not enough to do things right anymore we have to step up to the plate and do the right thing!
Can I bring about those changes? I'll never know unless I try! Will I fall flat on my face, probably, but I'll get up and try again until my vision is a reality.
When I first arrived at the shelter I was on a top bunk and my bunk mate was a rather difficult person (so everyone said). I just figured she was very private and did not want to make friends in low places, lol. I had been there about 3 weeks and got to know her a little, she did not have an easy live, an abusive husband (deceased) who had made her an introvert since she was not allowed to talk to people and her middle son had recently died. Her oldest son had wanted her to live with him and his family but her youngest son was getting paroled from prison, had to live with a family member and was not welcome at his brothers house. So Mom came to Bakersfield, stayed at the shelter waiting for one son to get paroled and for the estate of the other son to get settled. She was the sole beneficiary of a substantial estate and would be able to rent a place while her youngest son completed parole and then move where ever she wanted to. On a Saturday morning at 3AM I woke up and while climbing down off my top bunk almost stepped on my bunk mate. During the night she had collapsed on the dorm floor and had died there, with 40 people in the room getting up and down half the night, nobody saw, heard or did anything. When I went screaming down the hall to alert staff, an ambulance was called but it was obviously too late.
I found out later that she had been complaining about not feeling good for several days, but she was not very well liked so no one paid attention. We did not interact a great deal, I was filling in for the pastry chef at a busy restaurant, working 10 hour shifts and riding the bus for another 3 hours to get back and forth.
She had told me that Friday evening that she was meeting with her attorney on Monday to get the settlement check and then moving to a motel while looking for an apartment for her and her son. I still have nightmares and feel guilty for having taken a sleeping pill that night. This is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life, no one deserves to die like that! If I can be instrumental in preventing this from happening to someone else, I will have done the right thing and maybe I'll be able to sleep again.
It is all very sad and discouraging and mature women are especially vulnerable to bouts of depression.
If I ever questioned (and trust me I did...... many times) why I ended up in a shelter, I have come to realize that there is a purpose for me. There have to be changes implemented in how society views women below the poverty line. This is America in the 21st century and this is a serious issue and we have get serious about resolving it. It's not enough to do things right anymore we have to step up to the plate and do the right thing!
Can I bring about those changes? I'll never know unless I try! Will I fall flat on my face, probably, but I'll get up and try again until my vision is a reality.
When I first arrived at the shelter I was on a top bunk and my bunk mate was a rather difficult person (so everyone said). I just figured she was very private and did not want to make friends in low places, lol. I had been there about 3 weeks and got to know her a little, she did not have an easy live, an abusive husband (deceased) who had made her an introvert since she was not allowed to talk to people and her middle son had recently died. Her oldest son had wanted her to live with him and his family but her youngest son was getting paroled from prison, had to live with a family member and was not welcome at his brothers house. So Mom came to Bakersfield, stayed at the shelter waiting for one son to get paroled and for the estate of the other son to get settled. She was the sole beneficiary of a substantial estate and would be able to rent a place while her youngest son completed parole and then move where ever she wanted to. On a Saturday morning at 3AM I woke up and while climbing down off my top bunk almost stepped on my bunk mate. During the night she had collapsed on the dorm floor and had died there, with 40 people in the room getting up and down half the night, nobody saw, heard or did anything. When I went screaming down the hall to alert staff, an ambulance was called but it was obviously too late.
I found out later that she had been complaining about not feeling good for several days, but she was not very well liked so no one paid attention. We did not interact a great deal, I was filling in for the pastry chef at a busy restaurant, working 10 hour shifts and riding the bus for another 3 hours to get back and forth.
She had told me that Friday evening that she was meeting with her attorney on Monday to get the settlement check and then moving to a motel while looking for an apartment for her and her son. I still have nightmares and feel guilty for having taken a sleeping pill that night. This is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life, no one deserves to die like that! If I can be instrumental in preventing this from happening to someone else, I will have done the right thing and maybe I'll be able to sleep again.
OMG, how horrible for both her and you! i can't begin to imagine how that made you feel. at least you are able to channel that energy into working for a solution to the problem that created this incident and many more which go untold. people will walk by another human being in distress and ignore them because 'it's not my problem', but that's a lie. we are all part of the one human family and when one member is hurting, the rest of us are affected too. Hugs, Dawn
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